The Death of a Great Man

My father-in-law passed away on Sunday, December 28. He truly was a wonderful man who loved and was loved by so many people. Not only has his life impacted so many, but his death has forever changed how I view my life, my family and my savior:

· His love for his wife
He died holding his “sweetheart” as he called her. They were a couple who were still in love after 54 years of marriage. When his breathing became labored, she calmed him by singing Amazing Grace, quoting scripture and talking to him about the home they would have in heaven. He died in the same exact house where he was born. They never owned a mansion, had a vacation home, or took trips around the world; but they had what really mattered- a deep, lasting love.

· An amazing man
I thought that I knew everything about Steve since we have been married almost 16 years. I was wrong. I learned so much about my husband this past week. I have images in my mind that I will never forget of Steve taking care of his dad right before he died. I have pictures in my mind of Steve holding his dad and kissing him on the top of the head while he told him how much he loved him and of him lying in the bed beside his dad closely watching to make sure he did not need anything. Also, I never want to forget the faith he had as he stood over the casket seeing his father’s face one last time and telling our boys that we are not saying goodbye to their PawPaw but “see you later.”

Steve’s mom told me that she hopes I realize what an amazing husband I have. She said the way he nursed and loved his dad at the same time was just amazing. It really was. I knew that God called Steve to be a nurse. We never realized how the Lord would use it to bring such comfort to Steve’s dad. His dad wanted Steve right beside him. The love and compassion that Steve gave was straight from the hand of God. I am so thankful to be married to a man who has such a deep love and devotion to his family.

· The importance of family
When Steve and I first started dating I was a little taken aback by his large family. I come from a small family. The first time I met his family was Christmas, 1991. I am not by nature a “hugger” so I was a little overwhelmed by being hugged by so many people who I did not even know. It did not take long for me to realize that I was marrying into an amazing family. I even got used to the hugging. Having such a large, close family really has given us so much support during this time. The closeness of this family and their love and devotion to each other is truly a wonderful thing to behold.

When we first got married, I wanted to wait several years to have children but Steve said that he wanted to have kids right away while the other cousins were still young so that our kids would have cousins to “hunt Easter eggs with”. I have had the opportunity to see my boys hunt eggs with their other cousins and now that they are older and “too cool to hunt eggs,” I have been able to see them love and support each other through the death of their PawPaw. There are 11 cousins and I was really impressed with all of them this week. They all looked out for each other and took turns taking care of each other.

About 12 hours before Steve’s dad died, a hospice nurse came to examine him and she told us that he may not make it through the night. It surprised me that she felt he only had a few hours to live because he had been alert and up that day on the front porch and sitting in his recliner. After she told us the news, he was sitting in his recliner as grandchildren and children sat on the floor surrounding him; each one telling him how much they loved him and he was able to tell each one that he loved them. Then, we realized that we could not find the younger cousins. Steve found them outside sitting around the corner of the house in a circle crying. They said they were talking about the good memories they had with PawPaw. Steve encouraged them to go inside and tell PawPaw how much they love him. When Stephen came inside, PawPaw was walking from his recliner to his bed. Stephen said, “I love you PawPaw” and Steve’s dad reached out and took his hand and said, “I love you, Buddy.” Right when he got into his bedroom, Joshua was walking into his room to talk to him but everyone started leaving the room to let him sleep. He did not get a chance to tell him that he loved him. A little while later, Brooke was taking the kids to get ice cream to get them out of the house for a little while. As they were leaving, Joshua quickly came back into the house and told me to “please tell PawPaw that I love him.” I told him that I thought he should tell him himself. As we quietly went back into his bedroom, Joshua leaned over him and told him that he loved him. He was able to tell Joshua that he loved him, too. Both of my boys received a wonderful gift: their last memory of their PawPaw is him telling them that he loves them.

The funeral also was such a wonderful testimony of his life. Steve’s oldest brother, Dusty spoke, our nephew sang and my niece read a wonderful paper that she had written about her PawPaw three weeks before he died. As a Human Development class project, she had to interview someone over 65 and record their answers word for word. She read his answers and it brought tears and laughter as she read. I will post this interview on my blog in the near future.

· The importance of faith
Several years ago, Steve went to his dad’s house to talk to him about his faith. Steve wanted to talk to his dad one-on-one about his dad’s belief in Jesus. The conversation they had was a wonderful confirmation to Steve that he knows exactly where his dad is today. His dad was very committed to giving to his church and the Lord. His preacher shared of the commitment Steve’s dad had to Shiloh Methodist. He said even when Steve’s dad was very sick he would come to church meetings even though sometimes he would feel so bad that he would have to lay his head down.

The Lord promises to reward those that love Him. I have seen this week some of the blessings of that reward in the great love of his family and the number of people his life impacted. Just as Steve told our boys, we will see him again. While we are all sad that he is not with us, we are so thankful that we know he is enjoying his savior at this moment.